Dead and Alive
by Lexlovesgreys
Summary: Buffy is pregnant with Spikes baby. But how?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: my name is Not Joss and my last name is Whedon, therefor I do not own any of these characters **

Love is a strange thing…you find a person, think "hey I like them" and want to keep them for yourself for the rest of eternity. Overall love is a form of dominance, possession. At least that is what William Pratt thought before he met Buffy Summers. Buffy Summers despised William, though she knew him as Spike. Why, she despised every fiber of his being. Now, how could one experience such a form of hatred? Well, Ms. Summers is the latest of an ancient bloodline of young women given powers solely to kill his kind. Vampires. But even though "Spike" was once among the worst of his kind, Something stopped her from killing him every time. Yes, she was perfectly capable of it physically, but a nagging voice in the back of her head always stopped her. And you see, that was Spike's first glimmer of hope. The first indication that she had feelings for him too.

Now, they had been sleeping together for just over 4 months, and she still refused to divulge their relationship to any of her peers. But that would change soon. Everything would change soon.

Buffy awoke to the now familiar gut wrenching pain and lurched to the toilet across the hall. After minutes of gagging and retching, she flushed the toilet and emerged from the bathroom. She opened the door to see a concerned Willow outside the door. "Buff are you Okay?" "Yeah just a stomach bug" Buffy replied in a forced nonchalant tone. The slayer was honestly worried. Slayers don't get sick very often. Willow was thinking the same thing. There was a difference though. See, Willow was a very powerful Wicca. Possibly one of the most powerful ones in the world. She sensed an extra Aura. Buffy's was a sort of dark purple, but she sensed a softer,innocent aura. There was an extra soul. Buffy was pregnant. When to tell her, Willow had no idea. But she was sure now was not the time.

Just then Dawn came upstairs, looking somewhat scared and sheepish. "Dawn!" Buffy exclaimed in surprise " Why aren't you at school?" "Ummmmm, so, funny story actually, I was at school, it was second period, and Mr. Bower had this awful sub who hates everything except her cat. I skipped, and when I left campus, Kristine saw me and started to be a total biatch, so I slapped her. Long story short, I'm suspended for skipping class and fighting and Willow picked me up since you were still sleeping" Dawn rambled. Buffy looked like she was trying not to laugh and angry at the same time. " Dawn. The Kristine part is hilarious, but bad bad bad" Buffy said trying to be mature " And you know better than to skip class. Go to your room" When Dawn was in her room, Buffy finally gave up her struggle to hide her laughter. Her sister definitely was made of her essence, wasn't she. In after having collected herself, she began to speak to Willow. "Will, why didn't you just wake me up, I could've gotten her. I'm her guardian, it would've looked better." Buffy was worried. With Dawn being suspended, it was more than likely a social worker would come. Ever since Doris, that made her nervous, even if the following social workers didn't find anything that looked like drugs. Willow quickly replied to Buffy's inquiry "You needed your rest." " Willow! For the last time! I. Am. Fine." "Umm Buffy, I need to tell you something"


	2. Pregnant?

**A/N: sorry the last chapter was so short. They won't all be like that. Pinky promise. I just wanted to get this story out there**

"Buffy, I need to tell you something" Willow stammered then paused. Buffy looked at her expectantly. "Um soisensedanotherauraandthinkyoumightbepregnantbutimightbewrongandi-" " woah Will, in english please" Buffy said, becoming nervous by Willows strange behavior. She took a deep breath and tried again. "So I may be wrong, and I don't want you to panic or anything but I may have sensed another aura in you." Buffy made a quizzical face, thinking she knew what Willow meant, but not wanting to believe it yet. "Meaning you may be pregnant." Willow finished. Buffy had gone head to head with demons, vampires, nerds, hell gods, and even hybrid robots, but nothing had prepared her to face what she just heard. Throw an apocalypse at her, and she would know what to do, but a child, growing inside her. Buffy's hand crept to her stomach in disbelief. There was a child in there. Was she a horrible person for being upset?

All these thoughts ran through Buffy's head as Willow sat across from her, silent, at the kitchen table. After about 5 minutes, Willow began to worry that Buffy had relapsed into that catatonic state. To be sure, Willow decided to break the silence "um. Who is the father. I mean you normally tell me when you get together with someone. I mean not that you have to tell me everything about your personal life and-" Willow said awkwardly. Buffy looked up and half-smiled at her best friend's nervousness. Then, at the mention of the father, she realized this situation was impossible. The only person she had slept with in the past year was Spike. "Willow, now it is my turn to tell YOU something," Buffy said reassured "I know you had good reason to think I was pregnant, but that is impossible." Buffy took a deep breath knowing that the witch would need a reason that it is impossible. She would have to tell Willow about her relationship with Spike. "And before you ask, yes there is a reason it is impossible. Ever since I got back, I have only slept with one person. You will probably either disapprove, be angry, or both. I am still sleeping with him, and have been since that singing demon came to town. That person is Spike." Buffy said scared of what her best friends reaction would be. She may have expected anger or sadness, but not laughter. Willow was laughing. She was laughing until tears were running down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, but I knew you were hiding something these past few months, and I always thought it was some deep dark secret, but you were just sleeping with Spike." Buffy was slightly less confused about her friends reaction, but still surprised.

" But Buffy, I am pretty sure you are pregnant, and who knows, maybe you are the next Virgin Mary, except your name isn't Mary. And you aren't a virgin" Willow said "If you are sure, then I guess I will take a pregnancy test to be sure"

As Buffy walked up the stairs to 1630 Revello Drive with 4 pregnancy tests in hand, she was confident. She wasn't pregnant. She couldn't be. Minutes later in the bathroom, she hesitantly glanced at the first pregnancy test. Two lines. Ok. They mess up sometimes. Second. Two lines. Ok. This is getting bad. Third. Two lines. She didn't even need the fourth one. She was pregnant. Scared, frustrated and confused, she collapsed to the ground crying. On the way to the pharmacy, Willow said the baby was probably two and a half months. Over two months. The baby was undoubtedly Spike's. She couldn't help but imagine, a baby in a crib, with bright blue eyes, a small tuft of brown hair on head, smiling up at her. A child. Her child. Spikes child. She wouldn't tell Spike. Not until a much later date at least. She couldn't wrap her head around it, so what made her think Spike would. After collecting herself, she glanced at the time. 9 P.M. already. She cleaned herself up, hid the tests in her bathroom drawer, and sat down to read.

No more than 15 minutes later, she sensed a presence in the room. She looked up to see no other than the father of her baby. "Hello Luv," Spike whispered, pulling her into a kiss. A while later, they lay naked under the covers, basking in each others presence. "Spike, I love you," Buffy said, and for the first time meaning it. The vampire smiled, knowing her sincerity. He then got up to wash his face. In the bathroom, after splashing cold water on his face, he opened a drawer to grab a towel. Under the towel he saw some tampons, gross, and 4 white sticks. Shaking, Spike picked them up, seeing 8 vertical lines, two on each stick. Buffy was pregnant. It took forever for him to process what he saw. Then he felt a burst of white hot anger. That Bitch! How could she have cheated on him. It stung. The pain and hatred he felt was overwhelming.

The vampire was never more terrifying than when he stormed into his lover's room. Upon seeing Spike's face, she felt sinking feeling, knowing he found the tests. In hindsight, she probably should've hidden them better. "Bitch!" Spike exclaimed "You cheated on me! How could you!" Buffy replied calmly, in spite of the storm occurring in her room. "It is yours. I haven't slept with anyone since I came back except you" "And you bloody well expect me to believe that? I'm sodding dead!" Buffy began to cry. Not the racking sobs of earlier, but silent, gentle tears. Gesturing the still fuming Spike over, she placed his hand on her stomach. Being a vampire, he could hear the faint heartbeat, smell the innocence. Then, he knew it was his. However illogical it may be, he just knew. A smile emerged on his face and pulled Buffy into a deeper, more passionate kiss than ever before. In that moment, all other cares fell away. It didn't matter how or why the baby was there. It was only Spike, Buffy, and their child.

A/N: I know! Another short chapters r, but I am still getting the flow of the story. It will take a few chapters but It will lengthen. Feedback negative or positive is appreciated. I will also begin the poll as to whether it will be a girl or a boy. Bye!


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